To my dad

Sadly, the purpose of my trip to NY is to see my dad who has multiple myloma which is cancer of the blood. I’m using this blog as therapy for a moment. As I lay here awake, unable to really get some sound sleep I think about my dad as he used to be. Happy, strong, intelligent, outgoing, and very charismatic. I can’t help but be sad because this disease has made him sick, helpless, and so frail. The inevitable is coming I know that but I can’t help but wonder how I will handle it. I am my father’s only daughter. I’ve been a daddy’s girl all of my life. As I reflect on our lives together so much of who I am comes from him. He taught me to be fearless, strong, and to never be afraid of anything. I am so sad right now because I know that one day my dad won’t be here. Yesterday at my dad’s doctor’s appointment I saw his despair when the doctor told him that chemo is something he will always have to do. He realized at that that this life of doctors appointments and chemotherapy was going to continue. It broke my heart. I pray that he finds some comfort in knowing that he was the best dad ever. I hope that I get the chance to spend many more hours with him talking about our lives. I hope that he is proud of me, I hope that I get to tell him many more times that I love him. Sometimes we take things for granted until they are no longer there and available to us. If you have parents that are still here call them and say ”I love you. “